Toy Story 3:When Good Toys Go Bad
by Ryan9187
Summary: Andy gets yet another new toy. The other toys are in for a real surprise....Dark Comedy. Warning: Sex, Violence, Drug Use and a lot of stuff that doesn't make sense.
1. A Gain and a Loss

It was another fine day at Andy's house. Woody and the other toys were just sitting down for a relaxing day of basking under the desk lamp on Barbie lawn chairs. "We better watch out, or we'll be baked potatoes soon!" Mr. Potato Head chuckled to his wife, Mrs. Potato Head.  
They had just gotten back from a bath in the sink (a big thanks to Andy's mom), because of the mud puddle they had encountered earlier, when Molly had left them outside right after a light sun shower.  
Bo-Peep's clothes, and sheep, were hung out to dry. She was now wearing Dr. Barbie scrubs. "This is crazy," she muttered to herself while she shook her head. She did this every few minutes.  
"Bo, it's not that bad," said Woody, trying not to laugh.  
"Not bad for who? These things are way too loose for me. My cleavage isn't supposed to show THIS much!" She complained.  
"As I said, it's not that bad!" Woody laughed.  
"You pig!" she screamed at him. "Is that all you sheriffs think about?"  
"Sorry, I'll make it up to you," Woody apologized.  
"Oh My God, not on that Barbie bed again! Its too hard, I have bruises in places you couldn't imagine." Bo-Peep snapped.  
"I bet I could," Woody challenged.  
"Ooooh," said a few of the toys watching the argument.   
"That's it! I am out of here!" She yelled.  
She ran to the side of the desk, looked at the floor, which to a toy looked as if it were a mile up, and stopped. She turned around and said her farewell to Woody: "This is what you get, you ignorant prick!"  
A few things happened all at once, first, she jumped. Then, as she was falling, Andy walked in the room. The toys all scrambled to get to a place where it wouldn't look obvious that they moved to on their own. Woody, stunned, stood there on the spot with his hands up to his mouth. He heard a quiet crack as Bo-Peep hit the floor and broke.  
Almost too late, he fell onto the desk and didn't move. Luckily, Andy was preoccupied. He didn't even notice the mess on the floor that was Bo-Peep. He was holding a box. It was wrapped in bright blue wrapping paper and had a tag stuck to a bow on the top. He looked at the tag, and read it out loud, "To My Dearest Andy, With Love, Aunt Leianne."  
He threw the tag to the side and started tearing the wrapping paper off. It was a box. What was inside the box terrified Woody beyond belief. It was a toy, he went by the name of General Killjoy, and why Aunt Leianne would want to send Andy this was a complete mystery to Woody. He'd heard stories about this toy. Whole collections of toys broken and missing from houses after a child got one of these.  
"AWESOME!" Andy shouted, "This is so much better than the other toys!"  
He ripped open the box and pulled out a Styrofoam block, which fell open on his bed. General Killjoy looked even worse in person than on commercials. He was a tall white man, who was very muscular and had a crew cut. He was wearing camouflage pants, and a tan tank top. His helmet had fallen on his bed, along with his accessories: An M-16, walkie-talkies, and plastic knife.   
"Hey, Andy, honey, we need to go to the store. I have to get some more eggs." Andy's mom shouted up the stairs.  
"Aw, come on, I just got this open." Andy moaned.  
"Too bad, I need to make some bread for the company dinner tonight. Oh, screw it, I'll just by loaf," She shouted. "Hurry the hell up, we're on a schedule here."  
"Fine, Mom, I'm coming." Andy sighed. He threw the soldier toy back onto the bed and ran out the door.   
No one moved until the sound of the door slamming shut was heard from downstairs. 


	2. Emergency Meeting

There was an eerie silence. Mrs. Potato Head stood on the desk, sobbing. She was looking at the remains of her good friend on the floor below her. "She was so young... And pretty! And look what you made her do!"  
"I didn't mean to push it that far!" Woody exclaimed. "You aren't the only one who lost someone!"  
"If you cared about her, you would have known to stop before you even started." She replied.  
The toys had forgotten all about the new toy that was on the bed. "We need to get some tape and try to get her fixed!" Woody shouted desperately.  
"Woody, she's gone. There's nothing anybody can do about that." Slink said. "Plus, we have to go check on that new toy. There's already rumors going around the room about it. I've heard that it's a General Killjoy. The army men think its enemy soldiers, and the Barbies think its Kelly, coming to take their clothes."  
"You're right, we need to take a look." Woody sulked. He stood up and grabbed Mike's microphone. "Hey, everyone! Attention all toys! Emergency meeting beside the bed! Now!"  
There was a panicked rush as all the toys hurried to the bedside. A few of the toys got hurt on the way there. Mr. Potato head lost a few parts. "Can you help me find my eye?" he asked Sketch.  
Sketch turned and faced him, and turned his knobs quickly. He drew a picture of an arrow pointing to the left. Sure enough, the eye was right there. "Thanks, Sketch." He panted.  
The plastic potato ran to the eye, but just as soon as he was about to pick it up, another random toy kicked it out of the way. He chased it. Again, just as he was about to pick it up, it was kicked out of the way. "Get back here you stupid eye!" he yelled at it.  
When the two High Toys (Woody and Buzz) were in place, Woody grabbed the microphone again. "We have an emergency, for those of you who don't know, Bo-Peep broke. She jumped off the desk. We also have another crisis: There is a new toy, and it might not be a good one."  
There was a slight disturbance as the crowd parted. "Sorry, I lost my eye. I found it though!" Mr. Potato Head shouted as he help up the eye triumphantly.   
The crowd sighed. "Is it Emperor Zurg?" Buzz asked in a serious voice.  
"No. I saw the box, it's General Killjoy." Woody informed the crowd.  
All hell broke loose at that moment. Screams erupted from various people, and those who didn't scream ran. "Everybody stay calm! This is no time to panic!" Woody shouted into his hand. Mike had already left, taking the microphone with him. "Buzz," he tried to shout over the screams. "What are we going to do?" He looked over at his friend to see that he had red all over the inside of the front of his helmet. There was a man standing behind him with a gun. Buzz had been shot.   
"Muah hah hah haaah!" Laughed General Killjoy.   
"BUZZ!" Woody screamed. "What did you do to him?!?!"   
"The same thing that's going to happen to all of you!" General Killjoy shouted.  
"Woody, they're home from the store! We've got to get back into places." One of the army men said.  
"THEY'RE HOME!" Woody screamed over the other screaming.  
Everyone must have heard him because they started disappearing into their places, under the bed, in the closet, and on their own shelves. General Killjoy must have understood the routine already, because hew as up on the bed in the same position he was dropped in. Woody got back up on the desk and laid down. 


	3. Prisoner

It didn't seem like there was anything out of the ordinary when Andy opened the door to his room. Woody was on the desk, where he had left him, Slinky was on his shelf, and General Killjoy was on the bed... But there was something wrong, and Andy could feel it. He went over to General Killjoy and picked him up. "Finally, I get to play with you!" he muttered. Somehow he didn't seem as interested in it as he was when he had just opened it.  
  
Andy's mother walked into the room. "Hey honey, what's that?" she asked, pointing to the new toy. Seeing what it was she shrieked, "Is that what that woman got you? She's crazy and I don't know what got into her for getting you that but its not something you should be playing with!" She grabbed it and walked from the room, muttering to herself about old women and shopping.   
  
"BUT MOM!" I didn't even get to play with it yet!" Andy shouted.  
  
"Good!" She shouted form the hall.   
  
Andy was silent as he heard his mother walk up the attic stairs and move around. There was a loud crash, and then more footsteps coming down the stairs.   
  
"I'm never talking to you ever again!" Andy yelled at his mother as she passed his room.  
  
"Yeah, love you too. Guess you won't need to eat, or come downstairs again for that matter!" She shouted as she slammed the door shut.   
  
"This sucks," Andy moaned. He then noticed what was wrong before. Bo Peep was on the floor beside the desk, in about a million pieces. "Oh my god! Bo Peep!" He also noticed that Buzz was on the floor beside the bed. He had what looked like blood all over the inside of his helmet. He reached down and picked him up. There was no sound as he pressed the red button on his chest.  
  
He walked over to the bookshelf and tried to find a book on toy repair but couldn't. Then the sound of his mother running up the stairs was heard. "You ungrateful little brat! I'm going to leave you up here until you've thunk over what you've done just now!"  
  
BANG! BANG! BANG! She was hammering something. It was a nail, and it was going into a piece of wood. She was locking her son in. "MOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!" Andy shouted.  
  
"What I should have done 10 years ago!" She laughed.  
  
He went and got in his closet. "It's got to be in here somewhere..." Just then, the door slammed shut behind him. "AAAH!" he screamed. General Killjoy emerged from the dark corner of the room from which he shut the door. The strong toy pulled the desk chair to the closet door and pushed it in front of the door, so that Andy couldn't get out. 


	4. A Second Victim

"MUAH HAHAH HAH HAAAAH!" The psychotic toy laughed as he jumped onto the desk chair. "Now I can do my work in peace!"  
  
All of the living toys (except for the army men, who had been missing for quite some time now, Woody had just noticed their disappearance) were gathering under the chair to witness this catastrophic event. Woody was terrified. He had no idea what should be done.   
  
"I will let you all live...." Said the deranged toy from the chair. Everyone went silent. "For now! I've got business to attend to!" he laughed his scary laugh and hopped down from the chair. He ran across the floor, pushing any toys that got in his way over. He then opened the little screen into the air vent and closed it behind him. "Don't even think about leaving this room." He warned.  
  
As he disappeared into the darkness of the air vent, the toys went nuts again. "What are we going to do?" asked Jessie from the crowd. "Woody will know what to do, he always does!" Mr. Potato Head yelled.  
  
It wasn't true. Woody didn't know what to do. He stood in the same spot for a while, thinking.  
  
* * *  
  
General Killjoy was on a killing spree. He had killed one so far and was feeling quite pleased with himself. His next victim wasn't going to be a toy, though.  
  
* * *  
  
Andy's mom, Kelly, was getting ready for a nice hot bath. This was going to be a special bath. She turned the faucet for the tub onto hot and plugged the drain. Steam was produced from the hot water and sent floating through the bathroom. The door wasn't closed, it didn't matter, because the problem child was taken care of.   
  
Kelly then started taking off her clothes. She hummed as she put her left leg into the tub. "Ooh! Hot!" She then put her other leg in and sat down. After a few minutes, She reached forward and turned the water off. Before she had lain back down she reached over to the toilet and grabbed a bag and a lighter. In the bag was crack. She took a joint out and threw the bag back onto the toilet. After she lit up, she started smoking it.  
  
* * *  
  
General Killjoy was watching Kelly bathe and be high from the sink. She didn't notice him. She was too happy. It was time for her to stop. The toy picked up the hair drier and tossed it into the tub. It was plugged in. When it hit the water, it sparked and Kelly started shaking. She convulsed as she was electrocuted and finally died. General Killjoy left the room with a soft fuzzy feeling inside, like he had just rid the world of all evil.   
  
Now it was time for his next victims. He walked like a cowboy, imitating Woody, down to the kitchen to get his prey. 


End file.
